The Wenger Gyrations, Cristiano Worshippers And Rafa Benitez Is A DVD Pirate And "Silhouette"?

The horrendous pictures of Aaron Ramsey's broken tibia and fibula continued to haunt my weekend's memories. The best part of the weekend's matches was that West Ham United stays 13th, three points above the drop zone with all rivals playing the same amount of games. A good home win against Bolton will further consolidate the Hammers' position in the Premier League table.

Hilario and Obi Mikel combined to gift Manchester City two goals as Mancini's men overcame a lethargic Chelsea. Manchester City have now lost the least games among the top six clubs chasing for Champions League position.

Arsenal moved to within three points of leaders Chelsea with a gritty 3-1 win over Stoke. The Gunners have an easier fixture run-in than both Chelsea and United and as such, must be considered a serious contender for the title. Andrew Weber writing in the excellent Arsenal FC blog will be happy to note that the Gunners faces ball-playing sides  rather than bruising sides in this crucial late stage of the Premier League title race.

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Tour Guide John Terry, Christmas Parties, Anderson's A Bag Of Tripe And Akon At Drogba's Event!

Stuff that I found amusing while reading this week's Premiership football news. Bob Holmes in the Malaysia Sun gives some great takes on the Premier League. And I have added other links that will add weight to what Bob talks about.

IT COULD ONLY HAPPEN TO CITY
(1) We thought we’d seen the last of this one, but no. Only City could spend £243m on players to slide down the table. Two years ago they were fourth at Christmas; today they are eighth.

(2) What makes City think an unemployed Italian, who needs Brian Kidd and David Platt to hold his hand, and correct his English, can do better than Mark Hughes?

RIO FERDINAND CHRISTMAS PARTY ORGANISER AWARD
Robbie Keane.
The Spurs skipper informed ‘Arry Redknapp, who thought he had banned his players from having a Christmas party, they were going on a golf trip to Dublin. Instead of that, they were several strokes ahead of ‘Arry and duly had their own booze-fuelled knees-up. It was, by all accounts, pretty wild. Just as ‘Arry was when he found out about it.
Find out more about Christmas footballer parties gone wrong here and here and here (dated 2007).

POLITICALLY INCORRECT
Arsene Wenger.
For saying: “Whoever organises the Premier League fixtures must have come from a Special School.”

ALBERTO AQUILANI ANONYMITY AWARD
Michael Owen against Fulham.

FOOTBALL DICTIONARY
Director of Football.
Title given to either fading managers the chairman cannot bring himself to sack or lurking predators positioning themselves to take the incumbent’s job. Nice work if you can get it. Examples: Kenny Dalglish at Blackburn who just played golf all day; Avram Grant who slinks under the surface like a crocodile waiting to pounce on his prey. Victims include Jose Mourinho, Paul Hart; Sven-Goran Eriksson who is being paid £2m a year by Notts County and doesn’t even take training when the manager quits.

ANOTHER BURGLARY ON MERSEYSIDE
Birmingham’s equaliser against Everton. Pure Larssony!

DODGY DEFENDER AWARD
Man City.
With that outlay, they really should have Dunne better.

DESCRIPTIONS OF THE WEEK
(1) Man City
“More draws than IKEA.” Various.

(2) Anderson.
“In fact, he has a face on him like a bag of tripe when I don’t play him.” Alex Ferguson.

FAREWELL TO THE MYSTERY MEN
It was nice not knowing you! So the former Notts County owners were not in it for the long haul after all. One minute promising Premiership football within five years, the next selling the club for £1. And still we don’t know who these “fit and proper” people are. Various names have been mentioned including the Dear Leader, Thaksin Shinawatra, Bernie Madoff, Alberto Aquilani and Tiger Woods.

QUOTES OF THE WEEK
(1)“I had a lovely letter from Tiger Woods thanking me for taking the pressure off him.” Mick McCarthy.

(2) “When you go to a World Cup, it’s like going to war. When you go to war, you don’t take your
wife.” South Africa coach Carlos Alberto Parreira questions the old English WAG culture.

(3) “I am sitting here like a man waiting in the emergency room for his wife to give birth.” Hull manager Phil Brown describes waiting for news on Jimmy Bullard’s scan.

QUOTE OF THE YEAR
Sven.
“I don’t know where the money comes from? I am not interested. The important thing is that the money comes.” Should be turned into Latin and used as the motto of the Premier League.

NICKNAME OF THE WEEK
Pilot Light – Gary Megson.
Explains Chris Waddle, “because he never went out.”

PEARL OF COMMENTARY WISDOM
David Platt co-commentating for Sky during the Liverpool-Fiorentina Champions League game: “Of course Fiorentina will want to win this group, as it gives you a huge advantage. For a start, you get your away legs at home.”

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT
Frank Lampard thanked referee Mike Dean for giving him two practice kicks to score the penalty against West Ham. Wisely, he resisted the temptation to grab the match ball and claim a hattrick.

TRAVEL SICKNESS
Burnley.
At home they’re 5-3-1, away 0-1-8.

ALTERNATIVE CAREER
Tour guide – John Terry (see here).

NOT THE MIDAS TOUCH
Rio Ferdinand.
Last year the sometime restaurateur, Xmas party organiser, movie director, drugs test forgetter and occasional MU defender signed up to promote a luxury development in the Turks and Caicos Islands as a sound longterm bet for British investors. “It “ticks all the boxes,” he claimed. This year Turks and Caicos Islands government was dissolved amid claims of “gross corruption”; the islands placed under direct UK rule resulting in “unprecedented economic crisis”; islanders stage “anti-UK” rallies, telling local press: “Brits must get out now.”

SARCASTIC COMMENT OF THE WEEK
(1) Rafa Benitez.
“The referee was perfect.” Rafa didn’t add that it was a fact so we can only draw our own conclusions about a ref who sent off Javier Mascherano and didn’t give Fernando Torres the protection Rafa thought he deserved.

(2) Ryan Giggs.
“Cristiano is one of the best players in the world but I have to be honest and say I haven’t noticed much of a difference since he left.” Well, we THINK he was being sarcastic.

WELL WISHER OF THE WEEK
Kenny Dalglish.
“Hope it all goes well - people will be surprised to know you have a heart!” Sam Allardyce reveals the text sent to him by old mate Kenny Dalglish before the Blackburn boss underwent minor heart surgery.

PENNY FOR THE THOUGHTS OF...
Alex Ferguson.
As he struggles to cobble together a patchwork defence, a certain Gerard Pique will soon have to buy a bigger mansion – just to house his trophy cabinet. Sold off by Fergie as surplus to requirements for a paltry £4m,Pique is one of the pillars of the Barcelona defence that has now won six titles this year. Oh, and he’s Spain’s centre-back too – and they are European champions and favourites for the World Cup.

IS IT A PLANE? IS IT AN F1 CAR?
No, it’s Iker Muniain, the “Bilbao Rooney”.
He’s Athletic Bilbao’s youngest- ever player and youngest-ever scorer. Just turned 17, he is terrorising defenceslike no teenager has done since Rooney burst on to the scene in 2002. “He is a footballer with eight gears and in-built satellite navigation system,” said coach Joaquin Caparros.
More of Iker Munian here.

FIT AND PROPER?
Daniel Azougy, Portsmouth’s financial chief.
As Sol Campbell sues Pompey for non-payment of bonuses, it has emerged that their money man is a convicted fraudster. Club sources last night admitted they had no idea Israeli lawyer Azougy had a string of convictions for fraud and embezzlement. The Premier League didn’t either.

POT CALLING KETTLE BLACK
(1) Arsene Wenger who whinged about McCarthy’s team selection. But he had done exactly the same a week earlier in the Champions League. Tony Pulis said Wenger “moaned like a drain”. Make it a storm drain.

(2) England players who say they don’t dive. Step forward – or, rather fall over, Wayne Rooney and Steven Gerrard.

WAG OF THE WEEK
Sylvie van der Vaart.
WAG of Holland and Real Madrid midfielder Rafael, she was voted top WAG of the last World Cup. No wonder recent rumours of interest in hubby by Premiership clubs have caused such a stir. After all, if she went to England, the Poshes and Coleens wouldn’t get a look in.

Look for Sylvie's picture here and here and here.

Chelsea's Didier Drogba took some time out from football to organize a fund-raising event intended to build a children's hospital in Abidjan (don't ask me where!) and Footy Factor captured all the events on video.

And finally, the piece de resistance (though a bit dated) is a video where the England football players came out in support of Comic Relief. Really funny spoof!

John Terry and Frank Lampard: More Than Team Mates?

This was spotted from Myrelationshipwithfootball.com, a great site with great news on Premier League footballers and particularly Chelsea players and specifically Frank Lampard.

In an interview seen below recorded by mightypretty26, an awkward question was asked and the result was a scarily honest response. Clearly the pair shares a very special "connection".

In case you missed it, here is a short version of the great banter.

Frank: "Subconsciously when you know he's behind you it gives you a nice feeling, ya know."
John: "I wanna know why I'm always behind."
Frank: "You're better off, trust me."

Then John was asked how it feels when Essien is in front of him rather than Frank. His response: "Yeah, I'll take Lamps all day."

What would Toni and Christine think about such strong male bonding??? Too much brotherly love in my mind.

Premier League Preview: Sunderland v. West Ham United

If the Hammers think that coming back to draw with Arsenal represent the proverbial "turn the corner" then the good work must be continued with another fine display against Sunderland. Playing at the Stadium of Light is not an easy task as the Black Cats have very passionate fans which can prove to be the 12th man for the home side. With nothing to choose between Sunderland and West Ham, the challenge is on West Ham to firstly, silence the home fans and secondly, to overpower Sunderland on the pitch.

The 4-4-2 formation that Zola fielded last weekend against Arsenal worked very well and it would be a good idea to stick with that formation. Mark Noble however have not been performing as well as he should and he must be the one to make way for the impressive Valon Behrami. A midfield four of Diamanti, Parker, Behrami and Collison looks combative enough against the pressuring and harrying Sunderland midfielders.

One worrying factor is the way Tomkins, Upson and Green have dealt with corners, crosses and free kicks into the penalty area. Worrying because this is a strength of Sunderland's. The Black Cat's twin terrors have demonstrated that they are a force by plundering 13 goals in the last 10 Premier League matches. If Danny Gabbidon is fit enough, he would be ideal to partner Upson as he has the experience and defensive expertise.

From the Arsenal match, the partnership of Cole and Franco would need time to gel and build an understanding. Yet it looks to be a potentially good partnership with Zavon Hines coming on as an impact substitute with his pace to unsettle tired defences. Carlton Cole has yet to finish on the winning side whenever he scored this season and that's a run that he will look to change this coming Saturday.

The Flat Back Four's favoured West Ham lineup (4-4-2):
--------------------------------- Green

Spector --------------- Gabbidon ------ Upson ------------ Ilunga

---------------------------- Parker

----------------------------------------------- Behrami

Diamanti -------------- ----------- ---- ------------------- Collison

------------------------ Cole ------ Franco

So relegation thoughts are not welcome at this stage! A draw seems a feasible target but it is the much needed win that Hammer fans are looking for. Furthermore, three points against a very good Sunderland side may finally mean that the Hammers have turned the corner. A good match is in store, for sure filled with passion, commitment and great passing football.

The Premier League WAG news scene whould be a lot poorer without the delectable Elena Bonzanni, the Italian TV presenter who is Valon Behrami's long time partner.

The WAG of all WAGS: Sylvie Van der Vaart

I had been waiting and waiting for Rafael Van der Vaart to grace the English Premier League stage but the wait kept getting more and more frustrating. The reason? Well, I wanted to feature Sylvie Van der Vaart, Rafael's wife. She is THE WAG of all WAGs. See for yourself in this video by Vuicy.com.

And she looks real happy in Spain in this video by sporTVyou when Rafael signed for Real Madrid.



Will the Dutch equivalent of The Beckhams ever show up in a Premiership club? I hope so, a super talent like Rafael Van der Vaart should not be wasted on the bench! Lazio, Arsenal, Everton, Ajax, Hamburg and Atletico Madrid are rumoured to be chasing the Dutchman's signature. Arsene would definitely be sending out a statement of intent if he can bring Rafael onboard.

Other WAGS related blog posts:
Relegation Threatened WAGs
Promoted WAGs
Arsenal WAGs
100 Pictures of Sylvie Van der Vaart

Relegation Threatened WAGS

This is the 3rd edition of the WAGS series, following up from the ArseWAGs and Promoted WAGs. This time, the spotlight falls on teams threatened by relegation. We may not be able to see these WAGs for some time if Middlesborough, Newcastle and Sunderland do get relegated. So hope you will enjoy these!

Leilani Dowding have been seen with Middlesbrough's Stewart Downing and Jeremie Aliadiere. Rumoured also to have dated ex-Toon Kieron Dyer. A Page Three girl, glamour model, television celebrity and former beauty queen. She has travelled to Bosnia, Kosovo. Iraq and Cyprus on morale-boosting trips for British troops abroad.















Michaela Henderson-Thynne was part of the WAG circus in Baden Baden when Stewart Downing was with the England squad during World Cup 2006. Still a student but already living the luxurious lifestyle of a WAG. Ooh, the joys of being a footballer's girlfriend. Too bad she is no longer with Stewie.

Channelle Hayes who dates Boro defender, Matthew Bates created a swine flu scare recently when she came back from a WAGs holiday. She was a Big Brother reality show contestant which brought her into fame and prominence.

















Staying on the subject of defenders, Justin Hoyte and girlfriend, Madeleine Bowden. Madeleine starred in the reality show WAGs boutique.



















Sunderland Trinidad & Tobago winger Carlos Edwards has a pop star wife named Teressa. Now where have we seen that before? Hmmm....























Sunderland star striker Djibril Cisse and his wife Jude on a night out apparently. Some of you may know that Cisse is actually inherited the title of "Lord" in England courtesy of his 2005 purchase of a mansion in Merseyside. Officially he is Lord Djibril Cisse of Frodsham.

Roy Keane once famously said that it was difficult to sign players for Sunderland because the wives and girlfriends would not move to places like Sunderland. He does have a point as highlighted by Locallife.co.uk. Wearside has fewer beauty salons, jewellers, nightclubs, au pair services and tanning salons for every 10,000 residents than most other footballing towns in the UK.

Sunderland came in 13th place in the UK's bottom 20 WAG magnet clubs (Wagnet), beating rivals Middlesborough by 0.21 points. Newcastle, however was named the best transfer destination.















Mark Viduka just regained fitness and starred in the Tyne Tees basement battle. Here he is with his wife Ivana Viduka. It would be a shame to lose him to the Championship.














Sophie Bovington-Kerr once shared a toilet with Newcastle's Alan Smith. Old Smithy is a real cad judging from some of the stories about him.
















Georgia McNeil, an interior designer met with Newcastle troubled star, Joey Barton and decided to move in with him. This picture is taken from the Daily Mirror.

Newcastle striker, Michael Owen's wife, Louise Owen looking very good indeed. She is also crazy about horses. If Michael loves gambling on them, Louise loves caring and riding them.

If you find these sort of news interesting, there are several sites which are excellent for gossip and WAGspotting, Kickette and The WAGs section in The Spoiler are real popular. A personal favourite is My Relationship with Football.

Promoted WAGs

Coverage on WAGs resumes. This time, the focus is on WAGs of footballers who play in newly promoted clubs into the Premiership big time.
Hull City WAGs have been busy, they took part in a charity fashion show last year, showing that though lesser known, these ladies can turn heads as much as the celebrity WAGs. The charity raised money for Cancer Research and Dove Hospice in the Hull area. Who says that WAGs are only interested in shopping and partying?

Putting their bodies on the line in the name of charity at the annual Hull fashion show!
Dean Windass, the legendary Hull City talismanic player, pictured here at home, looking very comfortable. Well, he should be as he need not wory about house robberies (unlike the other footballers). Why? Because his wife is a policewoman with the Hull police force! Anyway, I wouldnt mess with Deano as he looks well 'ard. A real cult figure with the Hull fans.

West Bromwich Albion's goalkeeper, Scott Carson with his family after an interview. He married his partner last year and they have a two-year old son. He may have let in the most goals in the Premiership but he has also made the most saves (129). Don Fabio should take notice of him, after all, he is better than Chris "Injury Table" Kirkland.

Stoke City took a major gamble when they snared James Beattie from Sheffield United. That gamble has since paid off, as he has scored 6 goals in 10 games. The Potters are now 5 points short of the traditional 40 points safety net and Premiership for next season looks a real possibility now. A prime candidate for transfer of the season. Here he is on a night out with wife, Sarah.

Wife of Stoke City's keeper, Steve Simonsen. Had a garage sale to raise funds for charity according to the Liverpool Echo. On the subject of charity, she also organised a ladies lunch event to promote awareness and help the Roy Castle Lung Foundation. See...the years shopping and looking good sure did come in handy.

This hottie is Imogen Thomas, a former Miss Wales, and was dating Ibrahim Sonko while he was at Reading. Must have something to do with Sonko's "Sonko is Superman" merchandise. The now Stoke defender dumped her after a few months. What was he thinking?

More WAGs to come in the future. I am actually enjoying this....ha!

ArseWAGS

WAGS....that's what they are called these days. Though it's a harmless acronym (WAGS=wives and girlfriends), this term has grown to symbolize the reason for England's failure in the World Cup 2006. Ever since Vicky Adams walked down the aisle to become Mrs. Beckham, the media kickstarted a whole new voyeuristic look at the glamourous footballer's lifestyle inclusive of their WAGS.

I fully expect a reality series looking into the life and times of a famous footballing family soon.

These are the Arsenal players' WAGs...

Sizzling WAGs

1. Bouchra Van Persie

She stood by RVP when he was accused of rape (which has been dropped) in a Rotterdam hotel in 2005.

2. Tatiana Golovin

Samir Nasri's girlfriend although it looks like an on-off relationship, as she continues her recuperation from back problems.

Glamour WAGS

1. Ana Almunia

The Almunias bought a villa in Hertfordshire and that place turned out to be haunted. No news about them moving out though. Brave people!

2. Yulia Arshavin

An outspoken Russian woman simply for biting the country that will feed her and her excellent footballing husband. Still, Arshavin needs her around so that he can adapt and integrate quicker to the English game. Signs of his silky skills are emerging already with that unstoppable display against Blackburn.

Unknown WAGS

1. Clara

Cesc Fabregas' reported girlfriend. Keeping Cesc on the straight and narrow by moving in with him in London. Not that it did much good since he has turned into a little thug, spitting and cursing...why oh why?

2. Daphne Edinalvo

Denilson's girlfriend who came over from Brazil to keep him nice and warmly tucked in bed, all juiced up for the next match.

We shall continue to keep an eye and ear out on Clara and Daphne as they evolve into true WAGS.

WAGS of the Ex

1. Cheryl Vieira

Trinidadian wife of Patrick Vieira. Were gassed by burglars together with Patrick in their France home some time back. Scary stuff, more so than Mr. and Mrs. Almunia's haunted story. They survived but it must have done something to him mentally because he goes missing in matches for Inter Milan this season.

2. Anastasia Kosenkova

A singer in a Belarussian pop band. Mr. and Mrs. Hleb are the equivalent of David and Vicky Beckham back in Belarus.

He was superb in Arsenal colours, pity he didn't stay too long. He filled the void left by Pires brilliantly.

Hope this bit of news kept you entertained.
Maybe I will do a 20-part Premier League series on WAGS. After all, part I is already completed.